Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Awesomeness, Coordination, Marriage, Ruto, Zelda
My recent obsession with the Zelda series is The Phantom Hourglass. This game has caused me to lose oh so many hours of sleep, and caused my hand to cramp up countless times. I am both happy and sad to report that I am almost to the point of winning the game. All I have to do is fight Bellum…
But since I’m a sick, twisted freak, I always partake in the little side-quests and such. I’m working on collecting all of the spirit gems (I need about 2 more of each until they’re maxed out) collecting ship parts, catching Neptuna, and I’ve yet to head to Dee Ess Island to play the new game there.
Welcome to my life. If something catches my curiosity, I have to settle it. In The Four Swords, I worked on collecting all of the figurines. Why? Because I could. Also because I wanted to see all of them. In Ocarina of Time, I did all of the mini games with hopes of winning amazing prizes. I spent countless hours trying to find and kill all of the golden skulltulas…
Sick, twisted freak? Maybe. Obsessively compulsive? Just a little. Awesome game-player? You bet. I’ve not used cheats or walkthroughs at any point in the Phantom Hourglass. That’s how amazingly awesome I am. That, and the fact that it is rather easy. The bosses are rather easy to defeat, although that one boss that looked like a crab/scorpion was a bit hard. That’s only because it turned invisible and you had to look at the top screen to see where it was going, if it was headed toward you, and you then had to use the bottom screen to look at the boss and shoot an arrow at it. This is all while trying to avoid the other smaller creatures surrounding you. I beat that boss with a fourth of a heart left! It grabbed me at half a heart, I screamed obscenities at it, and rubbed like crazy to free myself. In the split second it paused, I unleashed all hell on its tail, defeating it!
So I pretty much win. And if I were to date a Link, it would be the realistic looking one. The younger one ‘good ol round face’ just doesn’t float my boat. Besides, he’s a bit of a player, and is already married to Ruto. In Ocarina of Time, if you recall, the Zora’s Sapphire (?) was used as an engagement ring. So there. Besides, there’d be no time for me, what with him trying to save the world and all. 
Ooooh! Quick question: what does the fairy of courage do? I know the power one makes your sword more powerful, the wisdom one powers up your shield, but the courage…?
So the Rocky Horror Picture Show has to be one of my all-time favorite movies/musicals ever. The acting is amazing, and who can resist The Creature of the Night? I mean, come on! Also, the Time Warp can be done to ANY song. True, you may look like an idiot doing it, but as long as you have a few other people accompanying you, and you have fun, what’s a little embarrassment? With that said, I present these pics for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy, my fellow transvestites (from transexual Transylvania-a-a-a).
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bed, daylight savings time, elf, Zelda
Daylight savings time is one of the biggest disappointments ever in the history of life. It defeats all logic and, quite frankly, makes me slightly angry. I get up early enough as it is (the first alarm is at 4, then 4:30 and a final one at 5) and this does not help. As I gaze upon the clock, it says 7:18.
The little pessimistic elf who resides in my head (Pendergrass) tells me “Although it looks like it’s only 7:18, it’s really 8:18! You know you’re losing an hour. You know you need your sleep. Go to bed now! Go rest your devilishly good looking head on your Tootsie Roll pillow and snuggle up to your cat. It’ll be warm underneath your purple hippie blanket. You know you want to…”
And then the elf of anti-procrastination tells me I have homework to do. The procrastination elf tells me I’ll have time to do it on the bus. Anti-proc says “that’s a lie and you know it.” About this time, my absolute favorite elf of all time appears.
He’s wearing a green tunic with white tights and brown boots. He’s got blonde hair, his ears are pierced, and he’s got dazzling blue eyes. He’s oftentimes seen with a fairy floating about his head, annoying the everlasting life out of him. Link is his name… This elf is the Great Elf of Zelda. He sides with the elf of procrastination and together, they rule the world. Or at least, they cause my GPA to drop…
I dearly love the Great Elf of Zelda. He makes me so happy, yet I end up losing so much sleep because of my forbidden love with him. I really must end this relationship, yet it’s so hard… Every time I try to cage him up, he calls out in a feeble voice “come back to me. I love you! I thought what we had was special… Please! If you leave me, I’ll surely die. Don’t go… WAIT! Where are you going? You’re not…abandoning me, are you?” And nobody with a heart can walk away from that.
