Meaningless Ramblings

Daylight savings time is one of the biggest disappointments ever in the history of life. It defeats all logic and, quite frankly, makes me slightly angry. I get up early enough as it is (the first alarm is at 4, then 4:30 and a final one at 5) and this does not help. As I gaze upon the clock, it says 7:18.

The little pessimistic elf who resides in my head (Pendergrass) tells me “Although it looks like it’s only 7:18, it’s really 8:18! You know you’re losing an hour. You know you need your sleep. Go to bed now! Go rest your devilishly good looking head on your Tootsie Roll pillow and snuggle up to your cat. It’ll be warm underneath your purple hippie blanket. You know you want to…”

And then the elf of anti-procrastination tells me I have homework to do. The procrastination elf tells me I’ll have time to do it on the bus. Anti-proc says “that’s a lie and you know it.” About this time, my absolute favorite elf of all time appears.

He’s wearing a green tunic with white tights and brown boots. He’s got blonde hair, his ears are pierced, and he’s got dazzling blue eyes. He’s oftentimes seen with a fairy floating about his head, annoying the everlasting life out of him. Link is his name… This elf is the Great Elf of Zelda. He sides with the elf of procrastination and together, they rule the world. Or at least, they cause my GPA to drop…

I dearly love the Great Elf of Zelda. He makes me so happy, yet I end up losing so much sleep because of my forbidden love with him. I really must end this relationship, yet it’s so hard… Every time I try to cage him up, he calls out in a feeble voice “come back to me. I love you! I thought what we had was special… Please! If you leave me, I’ll surely die. Don’t go… WAIT! Where are you going? You’re not…abandoning me, are you?” And nobody with a heart can walk away from that.